Well after typing this entry on my blog yesterday I decided to set up a membership on a well known free dating site in Australia.... there are several profiles advertising for girls to join couples in threesomes....so I outlined that infact my friend and I were looking for a permanent relationship with an intererestd intelligent, eloquent lady etc etc quite clear that we were hoping for something more purposeful and longer lasting than random threesomes.
24 hours later I have gone to the account to see if it has been cleared by this website and it has been made inactive.... banned I would say!!!!! Well where is the justice in that?...... Is it fine for the 20 or so other proffiles that are looking for random hookups and other profiles such as mine that will be eventually and hopefully coming clean about their being an existing partner already in the relationship once the women/men are interested and hooked? But not for a well written, intelligent profile that tells the truth right from the beginning!? Now I really wish I had done a word document so I could cut ande paste it here for all to see how decently it was all stated.
So now back to my original question are there any non-sleazy dating websites that will allow for triads?
Velvet
xxx
Hello all
How great to find a site that seems to be accepting of what I am pretty sure is my new lifestyle..... one that just doesn't seem to quite get off the ground.
As with most 41 year old women I have had the tradtional relationship (however never married so not COMPLETELY traditional) with one man (who I left 9 years ago) and a child as a result. I have been single for the last (nearly) nine years. Never to click with a man for various reasons. Over my whole life whenever (and not many as I have been pretty minimal with my relationships) I have had a mini heartbreak I have swayed to longingly thinking of being with a woman. To be honest I have wanted to be with a woman since I was a teenager but had never sidestepped down that path.........
Until I connected with an old friend who seems to have been in my life forever... a male.... we became intimate and have struck up probably the most amazing friendship I have ever had in my whole life. We are honest, exclusive, loving, fabulous friends, have terrific communication, travel together and just totally GET each other. We are completely exclusive to each other sexually however have what we thought was rather an unusual twist to our relationship but are slowly discovering is more common that we had thought. We are looking for another female partner.
Now here are the hiccups...... and I am sure we are not alone... we can't seem to find another female partner unless we go online. And then there is the often sleazy path of online dating. We are not into swinging (but horses for courses... not judging anyone who does!!!); we don't dress each other up in leather and dominate; we are NOT a traditional couple. We cannot seem to explain to other women that we offer an extension of what we already have together - an amazingly trusting, mature, loving but totally non-traditional relationship. We don't live together nor ever will as we love our private space. No-one would dominate, we both want all three of us to be happy but none of us are likely to separate and become a traditional couple. We know it is not problem free but can't even seem to get into the stage of ironing out the problems as there are a lack of women that understand what we are on about... we do not want our cake and be able to eat it too.... we want to cut it up into three and share it equally. I found the definition compersion online and immediately it made sense to both of us... it's what we have and want. The TOTAL opposite of jealousy. That may at times be challenged but right now we want to find out.
I have since experienced being with a woman and totally adored it... I have another date coming up soon which we hope will blossom into what we want .... but it's not an easy path. Does anyone out there have any suggestions? We are to all outer appearances conservative; we love fun in the bedroom but hold a very polite ouside demeanour. Do we need to become outwardly raunchy to attract what we want? Because if that is the case... we are stuck!!! That just won't happen, professionally I need to maintain my conservative public demeanour and my best friend is a conservative man, more from the old school.
So..... questions:
-are there any online groups inn Western Australia that can understand the context in which we live?
-how are others able to find the right woman?
-do others have amazing friendships beyond the usual "couple" paradigm that they extend?
-are there triad supportive dating sites online that I can't seem to find?
-is this all a pipe-dream?
Velvet xxx
I have a friend who recommended I join a Poly Group to further explore my deep feelings of wanting to give and receive love after a disasterous first attempt at an open-marriage arrangement. I have been married for over 20 years and gradually over that time,my wife has required less and less intimacy and affection where as I have desired and needed more.
It has led me to depression, and as hard as I try to be understanding and considerate of her needs,I can't stop thinking about how complete I felt at the very beginning of my first venture into a poly arrangement. My fear is if I pursue this again it would spell the end of my marriage, which I definately do not want to happen. I love my wife dearly, but I need to express myself more in a loving and intimate way.
I would appreciate feedback and advice from members as to there experiences and how they managed to maintain their primary relationship when entering into a poly arrangement.
I live on the Gold Coast and would love to have contact with any female members in my area to connect with.
Hi,
I am a 35 year Bi Female, I have a partner who is 40 years Male Hetero. We are open to meeting a bi female of similar age for friendship, fun and love. Our interests include health, nature, computers and music (techno, funk, electro).
We are happy to exchange pics and phone numbers.
Hi All,
We're a gay couple and we're looking for a single guy who's considering becoming a 3rd member of a relationship.
We love the idea of being sexual with someone we've got familiar with, and gotten to know, and we're facinated to see where emotionally it would lead us.
We know how we both feel about bringing someone INTO our relationship, but we're curious to know how it would be for the single guy....
Drop us a line, or facebook us and lets chat..
facebook - David Tuvok
E mail - mr_tuvok@hotmail.com
Hope we're not breaking any rules by posting our email here.
Cheers all,
For eleven years I lived the socially accepted lifestyle, wife, kids suburbia, two cars, day care, and work. Last year it all turned to shit with the breakdown of a union, marriage, what I thought was the way I was meant to live my life. It was some of the darkest times in my life. What I didn't realise then was how much of myself I kept locked away from myself, my then wife and society in general. I wouldn't say that I had an open marriage but it was kind of the agreement of "don't ask if you don't want to know". It was this way on both sides. Eventually the deceit took over. There was no trust, eventually the love turned to angst and then jealously as the primary relationships became second to everything and everyone else. Communication ceased and we went our separate ways.
With the end of marriage I was given the opportunity to really be truthful to myself. To reflect on who I am and what my social, sexual and relationship needs are. So far I'm doing pretty well. I've worked out that I'm an Alpha Male, a Dominant who is involved with a submissive femal primary partner as well as a secondary female submissive partner. That's the easy part done! The real complication though is that I am also a father to two small children 4 & 5yrs.
Like any parent, I want to protect my children from all harm physical and social. My partners and I are at the stage where we are considering formalising our 3way relationship sometime in the near future but we want to make sure we are going into this with our eyes wide open.
The relationship that I have now with my two girls are happy and healthy. We discuss everything, talk and talk and when we are sick of it we still talk some more. It is pretty clear that we are all falling in love and wanting to move in the same direction. Perhaps the biggest hurldle we face is how likely is a poly relationship going to have a negative impact on my children.
I would love to believe that all they need is love. They get plenty of that and they are well adjusted beautiful children. But social beliefs, religious beliefs and people in general can be cruel and unfairly target those that are unable stand up for themselves. It is this that is my primary concern.
Now that you the reader has a little insight into my story I would love to hear from readers who perhaps are living a poly relationship with children and how it has impacted them. I am particulary interested in anyone who has children around the age of mine and their experiences and words of wisdom.
Hello everyone,
We are a happy gay couple who liked to play with the occaisional visitor... up until we were asked if we were open to a 3 way relationship.
We'd never even considered it as a possibility before, we were happy to play together, but honestly we were starting to get over it, and hoping we would find a really nice guy that was compatable with us that we could hook up with from time to time.
Following the suggestion of a 3 way relationship we were initially totally confronted, this led us to find out more about the lifestyle and what it meant to us and our relationship.
As I am sure many of you reading this would have found for themselves, the very fact we were having a conversation about this has led to a deeper understanding of each other, it has deepened our intimacy and made us feel even more safe and vulnerable with each other.
Nothing seems to have developed from our last 'visitor' other than our conversation and us joining this group, but we're keen to meet other like minded guys to explore our emotions with, and other like minded individuals for social and discussion.
As someone who always thought himself as "open minded" I have been both surprised and encouraged by the fact that we have found a whole new world to explore, and a new way of loving.
Cheers.
Well, here we are with another update. My wife and I have been talking and we are both happy with our decision some months on from choosing a poly lifestyle. And something very unexpected has happened. My wife has befriended what is commonly known in open relationship circles as a 'Unicorn' - a hot, single female looking for a couple to play with/share their love with. I don't think my wife will be interested in her, she's still trying to get over her other
What can I say? I'm no Cleo Bachelor of the Year and have never, until the past few weeks, had the pleasure of being pursued by someone as beautiful (and downright sexy) as this person. It's taken me a good few weeks just too deflate my head enough just to be able to get out of my home! We've exchanged photos but have yet to meet. She should be coming around fairly soon and we'll see if there's an emotional connection there too (fingers crossed).
At the very least, I should get to sleep with her at least once and this will be the very first test of our open relationship at least as far as sex is concerened. Hopefully though we'll get at least a friendship out of this if not an ongoing relationship. Prior to this, it has all been one-sided desires for other people. How will we both react when it's actually done? Will I be able to go through with it? Will everything change afterwards? It will never be the same but will it change for the better? Worse?
Either way, I feel it is time to test this out and see if we really are up to an open relationship. As I said earlier, even if we end up with just a friendship and nothing more, we would have put out relationship to it's first true test. I'll keep you posted!
Ciao
Shadow
Hi,
My partner and I have been working towards changing our Mono relationship into a Poly relationship for the last 3 years. Moving from Amsterdam to Rockingham (WA) on my own but maintaining the long distance relationship finalized that process. We both have had partners outside our relationship in the last year.
Last December I was in Holland for a holiday and met the (then) partner of my girlfriend. After I flew back to Australia he broke up with her because it was to complicated for him. Last month my girlfriend was visiting me in Australia and met my (then) partner here. She broke up with me after meeting my girlfriend the day she flew back to Holland.
Although me and my girlfriend have been open and honest to our new/extra/second partners about the arrangements we have, its obviously still very hard to actually cope with the situation when confronted.
Maybe I should forget trying to find someone who is not Poly, or at least accustomed to having an open relationship. Its just so painful to have a relationship ended while the love is still there.
I am interested in the experience of others, how have you met your Poly partners?
Also open to become friends with people around Perth!
Iwan.
I am a 36 year old woman, single, and searching for a m/f couple or a m/f/f triad to share a loving relationship with. I would much prefer a live in situation, as I long for that every day closeness and to be part of a family. I have no preconceived ideas of what the couple should be like, although, I would like someone around my age or a little older. Must be very down to earth. If anyone would be interested in getting to know me, feel free to contact me. Take care, K x
